We hear it all around us NOW..
We need to Wake up…
As I see it there are 2 ways of waking up, one way is through knowledge, which is desperately needed now that we all face the same challenges worldwide and the other is a Deep realization of Who you really are and that is crucial for the emergence of a new Earth that we seem to be shifting to right now.
We are all in search of Happiness and Peace, our paths however, often go through a ‘detour’,
We look for it in possessions, in people, in titles, in appearances but also in Spiritual quests.
However, by searching outside ourselves we never seem to grasp it and when we do have a moment of Happiness, it just as quickly disappears. Life is constantly changing, then you have the love of your life, then you don’t, then you have your looks but that also fades away, then you have success and suddenly you have lost everything. If our Happiness depends on that, it means that our well-being is constantly dependent on what is happening around us.
I have been on the hunt for happiness forever and have devoted half of my life to just that, countless books, trainings, workshops, therapists, seminars, you name it, I wanted so badly to know HOW to find Happiness because all my life i’ve lived in Immense
Pain.. but I was never allowed to find it.
Something completely different seemed to be waiting on my path.
In July 2018 when I was almost at the end of Erik van Zuydam’s book in the evening, The Discovery of the NOW, (Dutch Book) something in me completely broke open. As if the wall I had built around my Heart had completely broken down.
I have read many books and often it was as if they were written for you but this was different,
I fully realized who I was at the deepest level and at that moment I knew that when I would wake up the next morning life would never be the same again and this was true until today. In combination with Meditation this was the magical combo that allowed this event to happen. In the beginning it was still slightly euphoric but soon it felt like Alice in Wonderland who kept falling and falling,
I could not hold on to anything, once you realize you’re not your head, your ego and even your identity, there seems to be nothing to hold on to and this was terribly frightening.. For most of my life I had lived from my head and from the shield i’ve build around me but this proved to be an illusion I could no longer believe in.
This new perspective was strange for it was new and uncertain but somewhere it felt like coming Home after a long journey.
I was not looking for this, I also had no word for it, I did not know what it was that happened to me.
Afterwards I found out this is what people call an Awakening..
In this state of Being, I could recognize it in people around me, they too have been tapped into this deep wisdom,
the place of Consciousness .. U simply recognize each other in this endless space..
One who does not live in it yet can hardly see it but sometimes feel it.. yet when u Awaken it will be there all the time and never leave You..
This process of Awakening has not necessarily made me happy, nor perfect or holy.
My problems or insecurities have not all disappeared but suddenly you realize that this is not necessary anymore to be allowed to BE there, the fight with myself did end after having been in battle with myself for so many years.
I am where I am even though that is not what I want or where I want to be.
You learn to carry yourself and everything around you.
You sit more and more in the moment, you start to observe life, yourself, others, events and there is attention for what is happening NOW. You still experience emotions such as anger and sadness, but unlike before, they are allowed to be there without too much of a story about how things should be differently, because that is where the suffering is.
By allowing the emotion to be there it eventually flows through you like a wave, just as children often express an emotion and then are completely empty and thus happy again. We, on the other hand, often hold on to our emotions, we bottle them up and this in turn causes us to feel unwell even physically sometimes.
Once awake, your head makes less noise because the Heart has taken over your life.
Negative thoughts, worries and concerns have all faded into the background, you can no longer take them so seriously, they are just thoughts and if these lead you you will experience suffering, life then seems like a big problem that we can never get out of.
The head always wants something or not, finds something right and the other wrong, it is everywhere and nowhere but especially not in the NOW. Your head cannot solve your pain, not saying that the head is the enemy but if we hear her louder than the Heart we are not living in our Truth….
When you live from the Heart, you See more, you Feel more and you experience things more Intensely,
life becomes Fuller, Richer, Deeper and more Fulfilling simply because the shield around your Heart has thinned out..
Vulnerability is once again welcome because we now realize that our Core can never be touched, only our persona.
Attention is key here.. Compare it with a child in pain, attention works wonders and can solve things instantly.
It makes us all feel better. When we are here and now with our attention, we know that things will not be better only after
we’ve accomplished and accumulated things. Future and Past become less and less important because we don’t have to ruminate endlessly about everything, nor do we wait for it all to get better later because HERE is where we need to be.
If we try to understand this material with our heads, we simply cannot reach it.
Meditation is the ultimate bridge to Awareness.. When we become aware of our thoughts, our actions and keep returning again and again to our Breath, especially in Silence and in Sound we start to disconnect from all that we are not.
The famous clouds that represent our thoughts drift by all the time, by not jumping on every cloud we learn more and more that we are the Unchanging Heaven of Stillness..
Life will become more Clear.. People, situations, often you read and look right through them, words become less important and less necessary. We dare to FEEL again and that which we used to flee from, we now seem to be at Peace with.
The Silence, in fact is no longer confronting because your carrying capacity has become greater; the Silence itself has become Fulfilling. You need and want less because the Ego needs less space. It also does not matter so much anymore what others think, even if they are against you, you take it less personal because you ARE not your personality.
You live in a Deep rest, that does not mean that there is no sharpness or spice anymore but your base has become Rest.
Also the questions fade away and there is more trust that the path will unfold by itself….
I think once you are Awake you can never go back to sleep.
Sometimes you may be less Present than usual, that is why being Awake differs from Enlightenment, when one becomes Enlightened she is completely merged with the NOW, like a child who marvels at everything, and you live in the complete Truth. The mistake, however, is that people think that you are holy, that is not necessarily so, you still have human emotions but the way this is carried differs from ours. But once you are Awake this process deepens more and more, and this will enlighten U by the day and there is no turning back….
Nothing is BETTER than the other though, that is also a mistake we easily make between the Non Awake, the Awakened or the Enlightened minds. Each has their journey, with their personal baggage, how can we expect to all walk at the same pace or at the same path ? Once awake you don’t have to do anything, all you do is observe, this is your greatest teacher of all time, there are no tricks, exercises or affirmations needed, it is beyond working on yourself all the time, you are not dependent of this, not even on Meditation, just observe from this state of being and U will start to See..
This Being feels like a Loving Mother and Father, your Comfort, your God, it is your Base, the Rest and the Stillness where All is well. I often call it “just” my Breath, it is Life itself. When breathing stops, life stops too. Religious people experience this as contact with God, each has their own words or metaphors for it. However, we often get caught up in all the rules and and then we’re back in our heads again. This will also obscure the direct contact with Divine Being.
The fear we now have of Corona symbolizes our fear of death but in fact we are afraid to really Live, fully Here and Now and to Surrender to that Is, both the dark and the light. From this place we can fully embrace it because we deeply realize that everything exists including that which we do not want but this does not mean that we just let everything happen.
Because you can FEEL more deeply, you can no longer ignore the suffering and U can also hear better and know what to do when necessary. In addition to all the Softness U can still be a Lion when the situation calls for it.
With the Heart leading, you can trust that what needs to happen will happen knowing what is the right thing to do at that time.
Awakening is important for this time because it is a remedy for dealing with all the turmoil, noise, contradictions, divisions, hatreds and uncertainties. From this deeper state of Being you can Carry this much better, because when we do it from the surface we lose ourselves in this and it costs a lot of energy. And also because the whole world is divided into two camps, you will be able to perceive Truth more clearly if we move less from the programming of the head.
From an Awake State you will experience much more strength, like a sturdy tree that moves with the wind, sometimes losing branches and many leaves but all without falling down..
Therefore, here is an Invitation to dive into the Depth, it is a Free Fall,
once you’re there no words are needed, it will tell you All and U will feel it..